-Thoughts-

With you

As my friend,

I feel free.

Like I can finally be myself

For once.

I don't 

Have to hide

Anything from you.

You know it all.

The good,

The bad,

And the fugly.

Inside and out.

I can be myself,

Fully nerdtastic,

With all my awkwardness.

You accept me,

Flaws

And all.

It means the world to me,

Homeland and all.

{Dear You.}

You are wonderful.

I hope you know that.

I have always

Loved

You.

Even if I never say it

To your face,

I'm glad it's written

Here.

Everyone has told me

That we would make a great

Couple.

They also say

That you love me too,

I hope it's true...

But I kind of

Doubt

It.

Because years ago

When we were dating

You said,

"I tried to have those feelings

For you,

But I just think of you

As a friend..."

Those words

Sting me

To my core

To this day.

You go hot

And cold

On me

All the time.

What do I make of that?

I don't know..

I just love you.

Thats all.

Love, Me

Besties

A- You said forever was ours, but did forever really mean only a few years? I really hope not. But if it did, I'm glad we had the time we did... and if we ever do cross paths again, I hope you'll tell me what happened. I'm always here, even if you aren't, but I've had to move on for myself. I don't know what happened all those months ago, but I hope one day we can talk about it. I'll always love you.

B! I hope you know how important you are to me. You have always been there for me, through thick and thin.... you weathered the two year storm with me and for that, my friend, I am eternally grateful. You have never given up on me, even when I gave up on myself. I can never express in words how thankful I am that you are apart of my life. I loveee you SO MUCH!

C. Even though we met a few months ago, you are my best friend! Well my BHFF. Hahaha, I'm super dee duper thankful that we met at that partyyyy! Things were never the same after that. I wanna go buy a cakepop, ohhh shoot, I'm getting off track. Hardy har har. Where was I? Oh yeaah. You, C, are my ballerina jazzdancelady. YAY! I love our sillyness and our inside jokes! basically. i love youuuuu!

that wasthat

(Change)

How can you

Have changed

So much?

You've become

Someone

I don't recognize.

Best friends is a promise you keep forever.

Did you not get that memo?

I keep hoping

You'll come around.

Annd we can finally

be us again.

Have you not learned

Anything

From my mistakes?

I hope so....

Basically,

I miss you.

[Comparisions.]

Alike

In more ways

Than one.

But

Different

In

A million

More.

I guess

We each follow

Our own path

In life.

And maybe,

Just maybe our worlds colided

For more than just heart

Ache.

I'll never understand,

But maybe

That was the plan.

Movement

In my heart

Still means I'm alive.

Right?

I guess we haven't learned....

The Green Box Days...

Were some of the best

Days.

Now I barely

Know you...

You have become a stranger.

Which is crazy

To think about.

Laying in the middle

Of the street,

Random trips

To Reno,

"The Bestie Book,"

And

Mario and Luigi.

What happened to forever?

Learning to live

Without you....

I used to think

There was you

And I

In this world.

When we were together

The world became

Ours.

Everything else slipped away.

You were

Special.

One of a kind.

My bestest bestie,

Forever.

And today,

While there is a big

Hole

In my heart,

I am realizing

That maybe,

Just maybe there is life after

You....



Stalker/Creeper Quotes

Heeeey All You Lovely Internet Peeps.

If any of you
See or hear these quotes,
Run for your lives.

Theres a stalker after you.

• I like smelling you.
• We can make new memories. [while caressing your arm, gently.]
• I'll be your homeland.
• You smell like pretty.
• SNOWFALKES! What are you doing today?
• You make me happy. I'm soooo glad you're in my life!
• I love you. [within ten seconds of meeting someone.]
• You make babies with me? C'mon say "YES!"
• You two ladies are looking DAMN FINE.
• You're GORGEOUS! [note: old dudes dont do this.]
• Come on CC, LETS DANCE! [old dudes: you will scare the young hot ladies away if you say this.]
• Any cheesy pickup lines are not good.
• Wanna be my playdough?
• You're my ballerina!!!!

Please note:
There are all sorts
Of creepers in this world.

And you should really be careful.

hearts and hugs.

Today.

Living,

Learning.

And growing.

That's what I've been doing

For eight

Months now...

It doesn't seem

To get easier.

The hurt still hurts.

Heart is still broken.

You've changed

So much,

I barely know you...

But still 

There you 

Are there

In my dreams.

You are forever

A part

Of who I am.

But sometimes

For a second,

I remember

What you always said,

"You are my soul sister.

You helped me at my lowest point.

I will always love you, no matter what."

Then, the moment passes

And all I am left

With

Is the memories.

I will always miss you.

Awkward questionsss for your amusement

‎1. What time did you get up this morning? Before the sun. erg, EARLY.
2. How do you like your steak? Whatever way you're cooking it.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? New Years Ever<3
4. What is your favorite T.V show? Uhhh? I don't have a fave. Mayber Gossip Girl....haha so cliche'.
5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? I'm not choosing just one. England, The Northwest, Hawaii, and other tropical places.
... 6. What did you have for breakfast? A bannana and a bagel.
8. What foods do you dislike? Onions. yuck
9. Favorite Place to Eat? Have you seen me? I LIKE FOOD, soooooo not choosing just one.
10. Favorite dressing? Ranch.
11.What kind of vehicle do you drive? ummmmm i walk.
12. What are your favorite clothes? Tuxedo shirts.
13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? England and Hawaii
14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? HALF FULLL fo sho.
15. Where would you want to retire? BUTTS, I don't know.... I'm only twenty three.
16. Favorite time of day? FOOD TIME. hahah
17. Where were you born? Redwood Memorial in Fortuna, California.
18. What is your favorite sport to watch? Baseball?

19. Who do you think will not tag you back? Does it matter?
20. Person you expect to tag you back first? No!
21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? I said NO!
22. Bird watcher? bird? no...people...yes
23. Are you a morning person or a night person? afternoon.
24. Pets? None. But I'd like a dog namesd DUDE.
25. Any new and exciting news that you'd like to share? THIRTEEN DAYS UNTIL EUGENE
26. What did you want to be when you were little? funny.
27. What is your best childhood memory? I have a million
28. Are you a cat or dog person? DOGS ARE BOMB
29. Are you married? PSH. no i'm not.
30. Always wear your seat belt? Isn't it illegal not to?
31. Been in a car accident? YESSSSSSSS.
32. Any pet peeve's? BUTTHEADS.
33. Favorite pizza topping? hm. olives?
34. Favorite Flower? PANSYS! hahah.
35. Favorite ice cream? froyofosho
36. Favorite fast food restaurant? In&Outtttttttttttttttt
37. How many times did you fail your driver's test? NEVERRRRR.
38. From whom did you get your last email? Daddy-O?
39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? OLD NAVY<3

40. Do anything spontaneous lately? I went for a walk?
41. Like your job? I HAVE NO JOBBBB. thanks.
42. Broccoli? Cauliflower? VEGGIES yum
43. What was your favorite vacation? San Diego!?
44. Last person you went out to dinner with? Henry
45. What are you listening to right now? coffee shop noises
46. What is your favorite color? HOT pink, LIME green and ORANGE orange.
47. How many tattoos do you have? noneeeeeeeeeee. i'm too much of a pansy for that.
48. Coffee drinker? COFFEE shop. yes. More like coffee loverrrrrr<3
49. How many children do you have? 547852555.4

July 18th, 2010

So many things

Could be said

About that day.

A lot of people

Would say,

"I don't remember what I did..."

It was a sunny summer day.

I logged onto Facebook,

And saw

Something,

I never

Wanted to see.

Ron was dying,

Right as I was reading.

What had happened??

I thought he had months to live!!??

I told Mom,

I'd come down later

In the summer...

There was no time for that

Now.

My heart ached

For everyone.

I knew everything

Would change

With Ron's passing.

Horrible feelings and emotions

Were bubbling up inside

Of my body.

I sobbed

All day long

For weeks after.

No one understood

What I was feeling.

I was alone.

Dear Boog,

It's been

A little

Over a year and a half

Since your death.

And a lot has happened

And changed.

I hope you're proud

When you look down and see me.

I still miss you

Everyday

And not a day

Goes by

That I don't

Think

Of you.

I'm sorry I never said

Goodbye.

I love you always,

Al

Cancer.

Life is too short,

That's the lesson

This week.

Sadness can NOT

Begin

To describe

How I felt

When I found out

A childhood friend

Passed away

From

CANCER.

He was only

Twenty six.

He had his whole life

Ahead of him.

That's what gets me.

I remember

One day,

Many years

Ago,

We tried to make

A cure for cancer

In my kitchen.

Little did we know

Cancer would follow

Us

As we grew....

Dear David,

I hope you're rocking out

In Heaven

With the other angels.

You are always

In my heart.

Best Friends.

You know...

Best friends

Are a funny thing.

I mean one minute,

They are

"ALWAYS THERE."

Then

POOF!

It's like they never existed

In your life.

And it makes you feel

Like it was

All a dream,

Or a lie,

Depeding

On how you look at it.

You wake up one day

And

Ask yourself

If you were just imagining

It.

So here are some steps

To not have your friendship

Ruined

By dumb stuff,

Like I did.

•  One- Be up front and honest about your feelings. No matter how much you think it'll hurt, just be honest. Trust me, your best friend [and maybe even you] will be sooo grateful for your honesty, instead of leaving them in the dark.
•  Two- Make sure you're not a freaking creeper. I mean, its okay to stalk your bff's facebook, BUT don't be all possessive and  jelly. If you're stalking his/her pictures you could say "HEY! YOU LOOK GOOD!" [or whatever the male equvilent is to that. Just don't say "Eff you! Why did you go out without me? I'm more fun then those fugly beaches you hang with!"
• Three- Don't call and/or text like a million times in five minutes. Trust me, it gets on people's nerves.

Four- If your best friend doesn't answer, there's probably a reason&you shouldn't block your number and call another five million times in five minutes.

There you have it.

Hearts and Hugs